When the doctor made a determination to call a code blue, I was not aware of how crowded the room had become in radiology after the doctor had summoned the staff for help. I had come to the hospital because I had discovered a lump in my right breast. Before the scheduled surgery that morning to remove the lump, I was wheeled into radiology for the doctor there to identify the location of the lump for the surgeon. The radiologist inserted a very long needle into my right breast. I am assuming that it was at that point that the doctor had summoned for more help. The room was buzzing with doctors and nurses bumping elbows, and carts were rolled in with electrical equipment. I was not aware of all the commotion, because I too had been summoned.
I found myself in the most peaceful of all places. I was in the presence of the Lord. I was happier than I had ever been in my life. There are no words adequate enough to describe the love and acceptance that I felt. It was just awesome. I was surrounded by what I perceived to be the golden cherubim. However, I would not be able to say for sure. The bodies of these beings looked to me as if they were pure gold. They were brilliant and shiny and very tall. So tall, that I could not make out their faces because they towered far above my head. They encircled me and I was not permitted to leave the circle that I was incased in.
The Lord and I had what seemed like a very long conversation. Our question and answer session was not done with words. I had many questions to ask Him, but all I had to do was send Him my thoughts and He would send the answer back in a thought as well. I remember asking Jesus the most important of all questions that there could possibly be to ask the creator of the Universe. He actually chuckled, and said that He would be more than happy to answer. I waited with great anticipation for the answer because I had waited my entire life to have the answer to this question. When the answer came I remember feeling a tremendous amount of relief, at last I knew the answer. It brought me such peace to have this question of the ages answered.
Then just as I was thinking that I was really going to like being in heaven and I was also thinking about how happy I was to be there, He said that it was time for me to go back. I began to beg Him to let me stay. I remember pleading, “please, please don’t send me back”. I had no thought of nor did I have any concern for anyone that I had left behind. Every thing and every one that I loved and cared about paled in comparison to the place and Person that I was with. “Oh please don’t send me back,” I begged again. He simply said, “you cannot stay, you have work to do.”
Within a second it seemed I was re-entering my body. As my spirit man entered my body I became very much aware that I was entering pain. I experienced in a split second physical pain as well as emotional pain. This burden of pain had been completely gone, while I was in the presence of PURE LOVE. The experience of being out of my body is difficult to explain. I was free from all pain, free from all negative impulses, free from all darkness, and free from all the weight that the cares of this world had put upon me. It was not until I re-entered my body that I became so acutely aware of just how oppressive and burdensome the cares of this world are.
As I began to gain consciousness, I was aware that I was encircled by a team of doctors and nurses as I lie on the floor of the radiology room in the hospital. I was assaulted with the reality that I had just traveled from the superlative heights of eternity to the debasement of a cold tile floor. My head felt like an elephant was sitting on it. All the pressure from the weight of the elephant had located it’s self in my eye sockets. As I arose from the dead, the doctor was greeted by a very angry woman. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME,” I shouted at the doctor. I was angry with Jesus for sending me back to purgatory, and I took it out on the doctor.
The doctor began to apologize, saying that he was sorry. As it turned out, apparently when the needle was inserted into my breast to identify the location of the lump, it was inserted too far and the needle went into my heart. He said that they had tried everything to get me back and that they were unsuccessful so he tried the last thing that he could think of. He put both of his thumbs into both of my eye sockets and began to apply pressure. Well that answered the question of why it felt as if an elephant had sat on my head. Apparently, the doctor thought that I was angry with him for causing me so much pain in his effort to bring me back to life. But, the truth was as I said, I was angry with Jesus for sending me back and also angry with the doctor for even trying to revive me. That is why I sat up and said “WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!” It had nothing to do with him sticking his thumbs into the crevices of my brain, by way of my eye sockets. It had everything to do with the most excruciating awareness that I was now experiencing acute separation from the desire of my heart and I was desperately homesick for HIM.
Once I was cognizant, they began to roll me down the hall to the surgeon’s theater. My first thoughts were, I really do not believe this… I just died… went to heaven and back again…and they are acting as if this is an every day occurrence…let’s get on with the show. Then I thought to myself…well after all what do I have to lose…maybe they will make another mistake…and Jesus will let me stay this time. My surgery went well and the lump in my breast turned out to be benign, as I knew that it would. The needle that was inserted into my heart may have stopped my heart, but tests show that there is no damage at all to my heart. He is a miracle working God.
I had work to do, He said, and He told me that He had deposited information inside of me that I would need for the end time ministry that He has called me to. I have no memory of the many questions that I asked. Nor do I remember any of the answers. No wonder He was willing to answer that ever so important question. That question that seemed to be some secret to the whole Universe, He answered with a chuckle, knowing that once I returned I would have no recollection of the question or the answer. He was so right, the question and the propitious answer is no longer relevant. The only thing worth remembering is HIM ALONE!